ode to geeks

i am a chemical engineering student. i know, i know; the stereotype is that i am a complete geek, nerd, socially awkward weirdo. i mean, come one, who gets excited about hydrogen bonding? who gets excited about the high heating value of water, ∆H of formation of propane, or mechanical and internal energy balances? who sees an integral or a partial differential equation with love and anticipation? i admit, i am quite the nerd. but really i am cool. really, most engineers are cool. talk to us; you will see. unfortunately, as i will explain, this is not the case for all engineers and tech gurus.
i was on the internet the other day searching for a father's day gift for my father. he, too, is an engineer. i thought he might like special cases to carry his blueprints. i came across these pictures. these pictures define geekiness. these pictures are the reason engineers get a bad reputation. do not judge us all because of a few; i beg you!!


yeah!! stylin' case.

ode to my ride

woooooohoooooooo!! jbear in the house!! for all you who want to get into the mind of jbear, today is your lucky day! i was just thinkin' the other day about my dream ride. i discovered i don't have A dream ride-there are too many to choose from. here are a few of them:

who doesn't love a vette? who doesn't love a vette with wheels like that??!!


oh baby!!


lemme hear yall say, "heck yeah!!!"


if my wife has to drive a minivan, it's gonna look like this:


toyota previa never looked so goooood!!!!

ode to good taste

for all those who were wondering, this t-shirt is not cool, not in good taste, and is usually worn much too tight so the guy looks like a tick ready to pop.

ode to my motha

this is my darling mother. i have the best mother a boy could ask for. i cannot say that i know how a girl feels, having completed the requirements for an academic degree from a major university, with hopes, the potential, and social pressure to fulfill an exciting career, when the opportunity for motherhood is presented. however, i do know this: all a child wants is a mother who loves her job as caretaker and teacher; a mother who loves her children more than herself. if a girl can do that, they have all the respect, love, concern, and support her child can give.
I am reminded of a story my mother read to me in my childhood. i do not recall the title of the story, but it was about a little baby bunny. the bunny's parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and family friends all had grand ideas of what the little bunny would end up being when he grew up. such occupations as firefighter, lion tamer, police officer, teacher, farmer were conjectured. but the little bunny did not want to be any of those. he wanted to be a daddy bunny. he wanted to play tag and chase his bunny children around. he wanted to tuck them in at night and tell them great bunny stories. he wanted to be their daddy bunny, and to be the best daddy bunny.
well, i know my mother could have been a very successful career woman. but she wanted to be my mom. i love her for it. she made a warm breakfast each morning before school. even when we had seminary at 6:30 in the morning, i could count on something good to eat. she always packed me a nutritious lunch. she encouraged me to be attentive, to pick things up. she encouraged me to be a gentleman. she taught me manners. she sang me songs and scratched my back before i went to sleep. she cut up my waffles for me (contrary to popular belief, she stopped well before i was 18. in fact, it was probably until i was 11). she let me turn her couch into a horse, apache helicopter, space ship, tank, etc. she encouraged me to read good books. she made me the best cookies in the world almost every other day. she was my cubscout master. she was my chauffeur to cello lessons into LA once a week. she was my soccer mom. she taught me to sing and love music. she taught me to love vocabulary. she taught me to write papers well and to be terse. she loves to snorkel. she loves to knit. she loves to garden. she taught me to love the savior and his gospel. she helped me prepare to serve a full time mission.
the list goes on. i love my mother.

ode to iowans

so i just got back from iowa. iowa is quite a wonderful place. first of all, it is very beautiful. pretty green fields and some rolling hills make for pleasant scenery. plus, there are pheasants all over the place. whether you knew it or not, that is cool. plus, iowa is full of iowans. now, i like iowans. i like them a lot. there are many, nay, infinite reasons why i would like an iowan. but there are three main reasons why i like them.
first, they are so happy. they are so polite. that is hard to come by these days. not in iowa.
second, they love music. you're probably thinking country. well, that's true. they do love country. but they also love all types of music. they love a good mix. that's why they have highly trained djs that man their radio stations. these djs can very skillfully transition from a great classic from the supremes to lil' kim's hot hit from 2000 followed by my favorite band american hi-fi's flavor of the week. i didn't even have to change the radio dial once. how convenient!



third, they are such hard workers. they are always working. in fact, they work so much they don't have time to spend a couple hours at the tanning salon. don't fret. that is why they very conveniently install tanning stations all over the place. whenever you have a quick minute you simply walk over and catch some uvs. its great. less time spent, more tan gained. yeah!!

ode to factories

have you ever been to a factory? a factory can be a very busy place. it can be noisy and scary. what are these things? i don't know...tehehe. i am in iowa. i am in a factory. i take pictures. i take notes. when i am done taking real pictures, when i am done taking real notes, there is not much to do. i begin to look at the factory from new vantage points. i see the factory in a new light. i see its symmetry. its precision. i see its beauty. so come, let's take a tour. be careful though! factories are dangerous. but don't fret, look at the cool get up you can wear!

ode to appearances...

so let's face it. i admit i have been going to the gym. yeah, you could say i pump iron. i hit the weights. i work out. i get buff. beef up. get jacked. shredded. ripped. so it's no surprise that people would describe my appearance as nothing less than menacing. i mean, you see me in a dark alley, whatcha gonna think? 'hey, this guy looks like business. he looks mean. i betta run, eh?' well, the other day i was in the parking garage under the jfsb. it was late. probably around 11:30 pm. and what reputable kid would be in the jfsb parking garage at 11:30? so, i see this lady standing down the way. she's giving me the strangest look. staring, staring into my soul, i guess. she was standing next to one of those call boxes. you know, the emergency ones. the ones they tell all the freshman girls about so if they ever see a shady guy they can run to the box and call police. well anyway, she's standing right in front of this thing just staring at me. then, without removing her gaze off me, she very robotically shoves her finger onto the call button, and the light starts going off! i get in my car and drive by. she stares me down as she speaks quickly into the speaker. HEY LADY! I WOULDN'T HURT A FLY! COME ON, GIMME A BREAK.