ode to rodents...

so, did you see my rat bite? we had a problem with rat infestation. i guess they were hungry.

ode to t-hales 20 mil

so, this is t-hales. ode to him. he's an accounting major. in the mac. future intern for ernst & young. baller. gangsta. t-hales is a great roommate and a great friend. he loves to wear cut-off jeans. just loves them.
i think what i like most about t-hales is that he is real. he cares sincerely about his friends. he does what he knows to be right. he works hard. he knows have to have fun. so i send an ode out to him.

ode to carbon dioxide and nitric oxide

some people want to build cars that don't burn gasoline. they say there is too much carbon dioxide emitted in the exhaust. they also say they want to save the ozone. we are all friends on this blog site, so let me be totally honest with you. carbon dioxide does not deplete ozone...
but let's first start at the beginning. do you even know what ozone is? ozone is a triatomic oxygen molecule (O3). it is formed in the atmosphere when uv light from the sun reacts with diatomic (O2) oxygen molecules (what we need to breathe in order to survive). a photon of wavelength less than 240 nanometers (nm) will strike the bond between the two oxygen atoms in O2 forming two free radical oxygen atoms. these will then react with other O2 molecules forming two O3 molecules, ozone. when ozone is struck with photons of wavelength 200-310nm the molecule will break apart, forming an O2 molecule and a free radical oxygen atom which could potentially react with another free radical oxygen atom resulting in another O2 molecule. we could metaphorically explain this as a battle between ozone and O2.
there's a chemical compound called nitric oxide (nitric oxide is a highly celebrated compound receiving recognition as molecule of the year in 1992). nitric oxide is emitted in the exhaust from gasoline-burning engines. it acts as a catalyst in the conversion of ozone back to O2. thus, the more nitric oxide present in the atmosphere, the less ozone and more O2 is present.
[i would add parenthetically that plants do not 'breathe' oxygen (O2), they 'breathe' carbon dioxide (in fact, they 'exhale' oxygen(O2)). they will not survive without carbon dioxide.]
well if i have learned anything from chemistry it's that ozone is a non-living, non-feeling chemical compound and i must add that it is poisonous to humans. ozone robs our atmosphere of our precious oxygen (O2). then we have these people wanting to limit carbon dioxide and nitric oxide emissions, and inadvertently, i am sure, stifling our poor plants, which are beautiful to see, and another source of our precious oxygen. limiting nitric oxide emissions will slow down the conversion of deadly ozone to lovely O2.
so let's sum this all up: people want to decrease O2 which we need to live and increase O3 which is poisonous...
we must act, and we must act now!! instead of these hybrid, electric, or hydrogen cars, i make a new proposal. save the trees, and buy one of these:

ode to geeks

i am a chemical engineering student. i know, i know; the stereotype is that i am a complete geek, nerd, socially awkward weirdo. i mean, come one, who gets excited about hydrogen bonding? who gets excited about the high heating value of water, ∆H of formation of propane, or mechanical and internal energy balances? who sees an integral or a partial differential equation with love and anticipation? i admit, i am quite the nerd. but really i am cool. really, most engineers are cool. talk to us; you will see. unfortunately, as i will explain, this is not the case for all engineers and tech gurus.
i was on the internet the other day searching for a father's day gift for my father. he, too, is an engineer. i thought he might like special cases to carry his blueprints. i came across these pictures. these pictures define geekiness. these pictures are the reason engineers get a bad reputation. do not judge us all because of a few; i beg you!!


yeah!! stylin' case.

ode to my ride

woooooohoooooooo!! jbear in the house!! for all you who want to get into the mind of jbear, today is your lucky day! i was just thinkin' the other day about my dream ride. i discovered i don't have A dream ride-there are too many to choose from. here are a few of them:

who doesn't love a vette? who doesn't love a vette with wheels like that??!!


oh baby!!


lemme hear yall say, "heck yeah!!!"


if my wife has to drive a minivan, it's gonna look like this:


toyota previa never looked so goooood!!!!

ode to good taste

for all those who were wondering, this t-shirt is not cool, not in good taste, and is usually worn much too tight so the guy looks like a tick ready to pop.

ode to my motha

this is my darling mother. i have the best mother a boy could ask for. i cannot say that i know how a girl feels, having completed the requirements for an academic degree from a major university, with hopes, the potential, and social pressure to fulfill an exciting career, when the opportunity for motherhood is presented. however, i do know this: all a child wants is a mother who loves her job as caretaker and teacher; a mother who loves her children more than herself. if a girl can do that, they have all the respect, love, concern, and support her child can give.
I am reminded of a story my mother read to me in my childhood. i do not recall the title of the story, but it was about a little baby bunny. the bunny's parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and family friends all had grand ideas of what the little bunny would end up being when he grew up. such occupations as firefighter, lion tamer, police officer, teacher, farmer were conjectured. but the little bunny did not want to be any of those. he wanted to be a daddy bunny. he wanted to play tag and chase his bunny children around. he wanted to tuck them in at night and tell them great bunny stories. he wanted to be their daddy bunny, and to be the best daddy bunny.
well, i know my mother could have been a very successful career woman. but she wanted to be my mom. i love her for it. she made a warm breakfast each morning before school. even when we had seminary at 6:30 in the morning, i could count on something good to eat. she always packed me a nutritious lunch. she encouraged me to be attentive, to pick things up. she encouraged me to be a gentleman. she taught me manners. she sang me songs and scratched my back before i went to sleep. she cut up my waffles for me (contrary to popular belief, she stopped well before i was 18. in fact, it was probably until i was 11). she let me turn her couch into a horse, apache helicopter, space ship, tank, etc. she encouraged me to read good books. she made me the best cookies in the world almost every other day. she was my cubscout master. she was my chauffeur to cello lessons into LA once a week. she was my soccer mom. she taught me to sing and love music. she taught me to love vocabulary. she taught me to write papers well and to be terse. she loves to snorkel. she loves to knit. she loves to garden. she taught me to love the savior and his gospel. she helped me prepare to serve a full time mission.
the list goes on. i love my mother.

ode to iowans

so i just got back from iowa. iowa is quite a wonderful place. first of all, it is very beautiful. pretty green fields and some rolling hills make for pleasant scenery. plus, there are pheasants all over the place. whether you knew it or not, that is cool. plus, iowa is full of iowans. now, i like iowans. i like them a lot. there are many, nay, infinite reasons why i would like an iowan. but there are three main reasons why i like them.
first, they are so happy. they are so polite. that is hard to come by these days. not in iowa.
second, they love music. you're probably thinking country. well, that's true. they do love country. but they also love all types of music. they love a good mix. that's why they have highly trained djs that man their radio stations. these djs can very skillfully transition from a great classic from the supremes to lil' kim's hot hit from 2000 followed by my favorite band american hi-fi's flavor of the week. i didn't even have to change the radio dial once. how convenient!



third, they are such hard workers. they are always working. in fact, they work so much they don't have time to spend a couple hours at the tanning salon. don't fret. that is why they very conveniently install tanning stations all over the place. whenever you have a quick minute you simply walk over and catch some uvs. its great. less time spent, more tan gained. yeah!!

ode to factories

have you ever been to a factory? a factory can be a very busy place. it can be noisy and scary. what are these things? i don't know...tehehe. i am in iowa. i am in a factory. i take pictures. i take notes. when i am done taking real pictures, when i am done taking real notes, there is not much to do. i begin to look at the factory from new vantage points. i see the factory in a new light. i see its symmetry. its precision. i see its beauty. so come, let's take a tour. be careful though! factories are dangerous. but don't fret, look at the cool get up you can wear!

ode to appearances...

so let's face it. i admit i have been going to the gym. yeah, you could say i pump iron. i hit the weights. i work out. i get buff. beef up. get jacked. shredded. ripped. so it's no surprise that people would describe my appearance as nothing less than menacing. i mean, you see me in a dark alley, whatcha gonna think? 'hey, this guy looks like business. he looks mean. i betta run, eh?' well, the other day i was in the parking garage under the jfsb. it was late. probably around 11:30 pm. and what reputable kid would be in the jfsb parking garage at 11:30? so, i see this lady standing down the way. she's giving me the strangest look. staring, staring into my soul, i guess. she was standing next to one of those call boxes. you know, the emergency ones. the ones they tell all the freshman girls about so if they ever see a shady guy they can run to the box and call police. well anyway, she's standing right in front of this thing just staring at me. then, without removing her gaze off me, she very robotically shoves her finger onto the call button, and the light starts going off! i get in my car and drive by. she stares me down as she speaks quickly into the speaker. HEY LADY! I WOULDN'T HURT A FLY! COME ON, GIMME A BREAK.

ode to life

ink


pals


shrunk


babysit


tough girls


dtown


baby text


hoody


me skiing


small patty


car blanket

me skiing


whitney skiing

some people like to love life. i think that's ok. in fact, i think it's a good thing. especially if they really mean it. but what do they mean when they say that? when i say it, i mean that i love to learn-i love to look at a situation and grow from it. most of the time things don't go right. sometimes they do. sometimes i feel like i can fly. sometimes i want to crawl in a hole. but i can always learn. i can always improve. as long as i am doing that, i guess i am living life.

ode to saint valentine

- love is a paradox perplexing mankind-what will surely cause tears and sorrow will ultimately bring true, eternal happiness. -

love is a common theme. we find in love a topic of conversation, a genre for books and poetry, a reason for song, the cause of tears, the motive for joy. we celebrate love with anniversaries and valentine's day. love leads the sweethearts to wed, the couples to kiss, the boys to bring flowers, the girls to blush. we love to love. it is innate.
when the one we love returns affection, an invincible spirit evolves within. with a perpetual smile painted on our face, we find humor in just about everything. the jokes they tell seem funnier, the clothes they wear more stylish, those things they do oh, so romantic. close friends call us crazy, but we don't seem to mind, or even notice. truly love engulfs its members in a whole new world.
if misfortune raises its ugly head, the love might begin to fade. the kind words they once spoke become biting, their conversations seem boring, time shared is time wasted. friend's comments were never so insensitive, and everyone talks behind our back. love's rosy world quickly escapes us, and we are left isolated in cold, dark misery.
then, from behind the winter grey, emerges a promising spring. with trees full of blossom, birds busy chirping, and bees busy buzzing, nature reminds us of another sphere. the world comes to life, and hope is revived. we begin to smile, and speak with strangers again. we are aware of what goes on around us, and are constantly watching, waiting and hoping to love and be loved once more.
i extend this ode to saint valentine and his day of love. thank you for a reason to send boxes of chocolates, bouquets of flowers, and metallic helium balloons. let us love, and love a lot; for saint valentine's day comes but once a year.

ode to the utah

so before i did say utah was ugly. but before i was naive. this is from a spring hike last year. beautiful, eh.