Sunday, January 27, 2008

ode to the not-so-fortune cookie

so, i don't know what you are thinking, but i am fed up. i went with some friends to eat at chinatown restaurant in provo. its a great restaurant. don't misunderstand me. the food is great, well priced, they give you plenty to eat, and in fact, i recommend it to any of you. i am fed up with fortune cookies in general. let me ask you a question. when was the last time you got a real fortune cookie? and i mean a real fortune in the cookie. not the junk i am about to show you. if you have recently, great. but i will continue anyway. so let's assess the situation. what is an example of a good fortune? i don't know; maybe, "in two weeks you will meet the love of your life." or "you will find five hundred thousand dollars in the near future." something that tells you about the future. it's not an advice cookie, it's not a compliment cookie, it's a fortune cookie. but most importantly, it shouldn't make you feel bad.

this is what my fortune cookie said. i felt bad afterwards.



what the junk is this? your mind is instantly flooded with all the poor decisions you made in the past week. (funny story: so my friend got this actual fortune right after breaking up with his girlfriend.)


i don't even know what this is supposed to mean...



wow. someone really got gypped with this one.



oh yeah?

10 comments:

Alemarey de los Ángeles said...

Hi, hhmmm, "Fortune Cookies", sometimes, they are really funny, sometimes, you say: "What?", and sometimes you cry because you feel real the message.

Thanks for sharing,
Greetings from Mexico.

Jana.

Meg Duffy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Meg Duffy said...

I really like them.... why you gotta hate???

Listen...

Learning IS LIKE A FIREHOSE into a teacup... how could you not know what that means?

deb said...

Man, I got lucky with my fortune last night (which is really strange that you wrote a blog about fortune cookies, because I was going to write one about fortune cookies), anyway, it said, "You will have good luck on the next full moon". Sweet. Now I need to pay attention to the moon on top of all my other engagements. Hopefully you will have better fortune luck in the future!

PS here is your psuedo fortune to tide you over until you get a real one: "you will find that missing sock to finally make a pair...within the next, uh, 30 days or so"

Erin said...

wow, Jonathan, Cliff says "Forgiveness prease." And he is sorry you've been having so much trouble with the fortune cookies. He's going to have a word with the council of fortune cookie makers. He has an "in" with the board...

Erin said...

Here's a little joke to make you feel better. --
Two fish are in a tank. One fish looks at the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

badamba ching! hahahahahahahha!

john said...

i have one that says: star light, star bright, your wish will come true tonight.
i liked that fortune.

Unknown said...

Seriously! I hate all of these messages that make everyone feel bad about what they are doing in life. I honestly haven't had an actually FORTUNE in ages. I mean, compliments are nice from a cookie but I'd rather hear what my near future will hold.

Oh, and that one about the teacup...I think the person who wrote it wants to be Confucius, but they just can't live up to his amazingness.

MJ said...

I had one that said "Your worst nightmare will come true"...
it hasn't happened yet.

Grandma Kristi said...

Jonathan--See my comment on Ben's blog: he also has complaints about fortune cookies.